Parents of a husband or wife - the second father and mother?

The wrong approach in this regard is fraught with serious consequences and can destroy even the most lasting marriage. The “newcomer” is treated with suspicion and is closely watching how he / she looked and what was said. And God forbid, do not appeal. Let's try to look at this situation through the eyes of “new parents” and “new children” and figure out what to do and how.

I don’t mind calling “new parents” mom and dad. A good tradition, well, when “everything mine is yours”, it rallies the family. But on one condition - it should go from the heart. The principle of “endure-love” is not appropriate here. If someone makes a sacrifice, prepare your back then: they will ride it, but they will not remember your feat. If the words “dad”, “mom” are spoken not through teeth, not with anguish, but you are comfortable and happy, I congratulate you - you have an ideal relationship, you managed to become that golden unit out of thousands of thousands married, and my advice you do not need. But life is often prosaic, and my advice is for those who are not “golden”.

It should be remembered that “new moms and dads”, as well as “new children”, are people with their own views and principles, because before you met they had their own life, and to accept a new person, and even more so, to love such it is, it is difficult for them, and this must be taken into account. Do not build sand castles and wait for warmth and tender feelings. It may take years to become truly close friends. In such situations, an appeal to “you” and “Ivan Ivanovich”, “Maria Stepanovna” is very appropriate, it does not offend in any way, but on the contrary, it is a sign of respect. You can refer to the fact that it is still unusual in the new status, that over time you will get used to the new role, perhaps then you will apply: "Mom, Dad." And there you look - and forget.

What to do if the "new parents" still strongly want to be called by them? To prevent this situation, talk with your parents in advance that you would not want another “parents” and ask them not to require the same from your spouse. The principle of “neither ours nor yours” is a kind of magic wand; the link helps: “Mine are against„ mamki-papkany “, they think that parents have one”.

In the event that a conversation with a new kindred about the "sore" is inevitable, here are the saving guidelines: "not used to," "we have not done so." Tell me you appreciate sincerity in a relationship.

By the way, even before the wedding, discuss this moment with the master of ceremonies, and then there are unpleasant situations when, allegedly as a sign of respect, the bride and groom should immediately, at the sight of guests waiting eyes, “declare their love” to new parents, calling them “mother” and "dad". And if they do not recognize, then both parties will be embarrassed, unless the young ones turn everything into a joke.

Good kin and good relations!

Watch the video: Klapana Chawla Family Photos with Husband, Sister's, Brother and Parents (April 2020).

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